Passion
by Nashi217
Summary: ONESHOT. James and Lily are happily married, but old habits die hard for James and he just can't get enough of who Lily used to be. Will this be the argument to end it all? Or will James finally give Lily the man she needs? Rated M for a reason.


_**Author's Notes: **__I just want to let you all know that this is the first oneshot I've written and I understand that it's a little bit corny, but the idea just popped into my head and I had to write it down. If you think it's too cheesy, feel free to say so… but be warned, it is actually meant to be._

_Also, warnings in regards to the M rating, there is mild smut in the later part of the fic so please don't read this if you can't be mature about it, or if it makes you uncomfortable._

_Other than that, please enjoy and I hope that if you like it, or even if you don't that you'll review and let me know how my first oneshot is! Thanks guys._

**Passion**

The night that James Potter sat by himself in a small bar just down the road from where he lived with his wife wasn't all that different a night from any other, but it stood out in his mind and replayed itself as he sat there and thought about how it had led to them getting to this point. Separated at Christmas. It wasn't romantic, but it was passionate, full of fire. And that's how they'd always been with each other, right from the beginning. When she'd look at him with those big green eyes and they'd flash with anger, passion. She'd storm away from him, never just walking, and the emotion filled her every step, leaving fire trailing in her wake. But something was different this time.

James had always loved the way that in everything Lily Evans did, she put her whole self into it. The way that when she spoke about something, she meant it. The way that when she tried for something, it wasn't half-arsed, it was complete. It was Lily, and well… if you didn't like it, she didn't care.

James shrugged against the cold in the pub as someone opened the door, causing a sharp draught of cool air to interrupt his memories. He took a deep drink out of his glass of firewhiskey, resting his head on his hands as he sat at the bar, the old, familiar spark returning to his eyes as he contemplated the fiery red-head that had always held his heart.

She'd turned him down for as long as he could remember, she was a challenge, but there was more to it than that. Sirius would always shrug and look at James as though he were a lost cause, not understanding his friend's need to obtain the affections of the feisty young girl. There were plenty more fish in the sea as far as Black was concerned, yet James Potter still wasted away, dreaming and scheming of more ways to see that passion explode out of her. To see a flash of something behind her eyes as she turned to him, her lips pursed and her gestures riddled with adrenalin and rage. And so he had continued to pursue her long after his friends had given up hope. There was no limit to his determination and resolve when it came to Lily. She was too good to be true, and every rejection just spurred him on. It put a fire in his eyes, and a mischief in his smile that couldn't be put there by anyone else. That's how he knew really, that there would never really be anyone else for him.

Returning to the present, James, a few years older than his school-boy self sat alone in a bar, possibly the only one open on Christmas Eve, and raised his glass, smiling once more in the way that only Lily could make him do. Drowning himself in the last dregs, he nodded to the bar tender to pour him his second, and he pulled his thoughts to a more recent night. That very night in fact, and the events that had caused him to be sitting on that bar stool now, instead of at home with his wife, celebrating.

Despite the fact that it was a holiday for almost everyone else in the world, James had been asked to work late. This was not too unusual, as the office hours for aurors differed slightly from others, especially in the times at hand. Tired, and spent, he had apparated home to the comforting smells of Lily's cooking wafting through the air. Coming up behind her, a tired smile playing on his lips, he grazed his mouth gently across her neck and wrapped his arms around her.

"Merry Christmas Mrs Potter" he mumbled, swaying with her and kissing her cheek. He felt her smile, and he squeezed her gently. She turned to face him and planted a full kiss on his lips.

"It's nice to have you home again. Are you hungry?"

"For your cooking? No way!" James grinned as he teased her, waiting for her to jump at the bait. Lily's lips pursed and James felt the jolt beneath his stomach as her eyes flashed. But all too soon she'd turned away. "You know James, it's Christmas."

"Yes Lily, I know that."

"Well on Christmas people are nice to each other, it's this new phenomenon." James chuckled, despite the fact that Lily's voice was quieter and more distant than usual.

"Lils you know that your cooking tastes like heaven to me." He turned her chin up and was surprised to see a flicker of hurt in her eyes. He kissed her and turned to collect plates and cutlery for them both.

"Yes but James, you never actually say that." Lily said softly.

James turned to her and studied her face. Undecided as to what he found there, he moved towards the table and placed glasses upon it for them both, trying to buy him more time to think. Lily sighed softly behind him, and then kissed his shoulder as she walked past to sit across from him. He opened his mouth to speak but she got in first, inquiring after his day. Pleased for the subject change, he told her about the progress that his division was making, and they exchanged idyll chatter as they finished eating.

At the end of the meal James raised his glass and looked across at his wife in all her beauty, taking in her full, red curls, and the smooth, silkiness of her skin. "To us at Christmas, and a very merry one to us both at that." They both took a sip and then, smirking, stealing a glance at Lily, James added "I'll never know why I ended up going for the biggest nerd in our school, but I guess some things are just too bizarre to figure out huh?" He spoke gently, teasingly, and although at first Lily smiled causing James' heart to somersault inside him, she lowered her face and the smile faded just as quickly as it had begun. James watched her and puzzled concern etched its way into his features. This had happened more and more in the past few weeks. Nothing too major, but it was as though the fire and passion that she had once had, was beginning to fade.

"Lily…" he started, tentatively. "Are you ok? Is something wrong?" he reached across and covered her hand softly with his fingers.

"James… why don't you ever say nice things to me?"

James looked at her, shocked.

"What?!"

"You always seem to be being nice, but there's never anything nice about what you actually say. I don't know if you mean it, but it's like you're constantly trying to start an argument or get me riled up." James looked at her, and tried to say something, anything… but couldn't. He didn't know where to begin. Isn't this what they were all about? The passion?

"Isn't… isn't that what it's all about?" he asked, his voice dry and choked with shock. Lily looked at him in disbelief. Her brow furrowed, her lips shrunk together and she opened her mouth to reply as the anger brewed visibly underneath her skin. For the first time, this was not a passion that James decided he wanted. However, before she said anything, she stopped and as though realizing what she was doing, looked down at her hands, and exhaled gently.

"No James, that's not what it's all about." With that she stood up, mumbled a pitiful 'merry christmas' and then went into their room, closing the door behind her. James had grabbed his coat after a few minutes of confused brooding, and headed for the nearest pub.

As he sat there drinking, events tumbled over themselves in his head, followed closely by Lily's words. If it wasn't passion that was the key in their relationship, then what was it? Passion made their love exist! The butterflies that filled his stomach came out of seeing her smile, seeing her eyes light up… that was passion!

"It _is_ passion!" he exclaimed suddenly, frustrated. A woman at the other end of the bar looked up at him through the smoke haze, over the top of her firewhiskey, piercing him with her bright blue gaze.

"Of course it is lad." She slurred slightly, although her eyes stayed perfectly trained on him, never drooping. "Of course it's passion. A girl wants to know that you love the way that she flicks her hair back, or the way that when she smiles at you, you want to lock up that look and keep it for yourself always. That's what it's all about, telling her you love her, and showing her the passion! It is all about the passion my boy." She looked into her glass and then back up at him. "And now is the best time to realize that. Or one day you'll end up like me… alone in a bar at Christmas, can you imagine this every year?" She cackled loudly to herself and took a gulp. "If there's still hope for you my lad, then there's hope for us all."

James nodded, and pursed his lips together in thought. The woman had been right. It was still passion that made their relationship work, but James had been mistaken in the kind of passion that he needed, and more importantly, that Lily needed. He stood up decisively and tossed a galleon on the bench top, striding out of the bar and into the night.

When he arrived home, Lily was still in their bedroom. He took off his shoes and coat and stepped gingerly up to the door, pushing it open. She was seated on the bed, their bed, holding her arms around herself, looking at their wedding album, open in her lap. She didn't look up as he came in, but she spoke.

"Where did you go?'

James considered his answer carefully.

"To get some advice actually. I wouldn't have thought it was possible, but I found it in a pub." Lily looked up at him then, questioningly, putting the album aside.

"I only had two. And I didn't even finish the last one Lils." He sighed and sat next to her, nervous even though he knew he didn't have to be. She turned to look at him, "No that's not what I meant James. I meant, what was the advice that you so badly needed?" James breathed deeply and swiveled to face her, looking straight into her face and taking it all in, in its entirety.

"I needed to know what I was doing wrong by you. I needed to figure out where along the lines I'd messed up." Lily studied his face, her lower lip just starting to tremble. "Did you find it?"

James smiled down at her gently, lifting his hand and tracing it down the side of her face, rubbing his thumb across her lips as if to steady them.

"Yeah Lils, I found it." With that he leaned forward and kissed her softly but firmly on her mouth, trying to convey all the love that he felt. His hand curled around her neck and his fingers embedded themselves in her hair, his other hand reaching across to intertwine his fingers with hers. He pulled away and rested his forehead on hers, both their eyes closed, their breathing ragged and deep.

"I need you to know Lily Evans… Lily _Potter­" _he corrected, smiling to himself. "That I love you. I love everything about you and I wouldn't have spent most of my life trying to get you to look twice at me if that wasn't the case. But what you don't realize Lils, is that the thing that I love most about you is your passion for life. You never do anything so that it's just good, not great, and you never say something you don't mean. Even if it does end in 'Potter you bullying toe-rag.'" He stopped and smiled, leaning back so he could watch her face as she tried to hide a sheepish grin, looking up at him.

"The thing is Lily, when I tease you and try to make you frustrated with me, I'm only playing so that I can see that spark fly. So I can see you looking at me with all that emotion spilling out. But I don't ever want to make you angry or upset, and I never meant to hurt you. I _love_ you Lily." He lifted her chin so he could look at her in earnest, and then repeated softly, "I love you."

Lily looked up and him and squeezed his hand gently. "I know James, but there are other ways to make me passionate. _Many_ other ways. It's like sometimes you forget that I love you too, you don't have to make me frustrated and you don't have to get my attention any more James, I married you remember?" with that she held up her hand to show him the ring that he'd seen a thousand times before, and raised her eyebrow with it, before her lips curled up in a small smile.

"Come on, it's Christmas, I forgive you James, but god help me… you'll get anger next time you tease me about my cooking, not just frustration."

James chuckled and put his arm around her waist to stop her from getting up.

"Where do you think you're going?" Lily looked at him, a smirk playing across her features as she saw the mischievous spark in James' eyes.

"Well I thought I'd go find someone who knows what kind of passion I need." She said, looking to the roof and not at him, knowing how this would irritate him. She was right; he pulled her down into the bed despite her squeals of laughter and covered her with his body. He looked into her eyes and said in earnest, "Oh Lily, I know. And it's about time I showed you that more often." She looked up at him and pulled his face down to meet hers in a swift, sweet kiss. Without waiting, James began to deepen the kiss and before long, his leg was between hers, rubbing gently, as his tongue gently massaged her own. It wasn't heated and hurried. It wasn't desperate; it was slow, and nice and very passionate. It was love, not lust, and James had been right, it was exactly the passion that Lily needed. He vowed to buy her flowers and make her dinner tomorrow as a start to showing her more often how he felt, but before he could plan any more, his mind was distracted by the unique sensation of Lily's hands running down his body, the way that they always had, ever since he'd first been able to touch her. And every time, it made him go crazy, without fail.

He moaned gently into her neck as he felt himself growing harder, and he nuzzled into her, kissing every spare spot of skin he could find. Lily's hands raked down his back her fingers drawing nonsense shapes on his skin, under his shirt.

"I think I've found exactly what _you _need Mr Potter." She whispered cheekily, sliding her hands just those few inches lower.

"Lily…" he growled into her skin, before shifting his head up so he could kiss her mouth, reveling in the sensations she was giving him, all over his body. He felt her hands begin to tug at his shirt and he lifted himself so she could pull it over his head. Looking down at her, he smiled his trademark grin, and then pressed his warm body down onto hers as his own hands went underneath the hem of her dress and ran up her thighs, hips and body, bringing the dress with them to pull it over her head.

They looked at each other then, and they both smiled. A knowing smile, the smile that two people share when they know more about the other person than anyone else in the world. James kissed Lily and then traced his fingers down the length of her body, as far as he could reach, feeling her shivering with anticipation underneath him. His fingers undid her bra as he made little circles with his tongue down her neck and across her collarbone. He reached his hand up to gently rub against her breast, cupping it within his palm as his mouth slowly made its way down to her nipple, kissing it gently, as she arched into him. Her own hands made their way around the back of James and pulled his waist closer to her, moving her legs so that they were on either side of him, open and waiting.

Undoing the buttons on his pants as quickly as she could (although made slightly more complex by their position) she slipped his pants off and sighed as the familiar feeling of his skin on hers made butterflies flutter in her stomach. He followed suit in taking off her underwear and then as he brought his hand back up her body, he let it slip down between her thighs and he felt her wetness, a finger dipping gently to rub against her clitoris in smooth circular movements that he knew she liked. She moaned and pulled his waist closer, forcing his hardened cock to press up against her, but not quite inside. James took a quick intake of breath as he felt how hot she was, and moved his hand from her clit so that his body could take over. He thrusted his hips gently so that his cock rubbed against her and he closed his eyes, feeling the ripples of warmth pass through both their bodies. Lily breathed deeply and ran one hand up to his neck, pulling him in to kiss her, and James put one hand around her shoulders to hold her, using his other arm to steady himself. Lily opened her eyes and looked at James, the passion he craved so deeply filling her eyes as she said softly, "I love you James." James' stomach did back flips and he kissed her lips gently, moving so that his cock was at her entrance. "I love you too Lily, with all my heart." With that he entered her, and they both gasped, pulling the other closer. They began to move in time with each other, riding it out until the ripples became waves and they were climaxing within seconds of each other, the air riddled with more passion than James could ever remember.

Afterwards, as they lay there in each other's arms drifting into sleep, Lily whispered, "James, I want to give you one of your Christmas presents now instead of in the morning." James opened his eyes sleepily and kissed her shoulder, looking up at her he replied, "Ok?"

Lily looked nervous as she said, "Well it's not really a gift… its more like some news." James moved so that he could look at her properly.

"James, I'm pregnant." She smiled at him and put her arms around his neck.

"Just over a month now, I went to the doctor today."

James felt a grin creeping onto his face, "Lily that is fantastic!" He hugged her close and laughed. "Merlin, my present will never be able to match that!" Lily laughed too, and they lay there in each other's arms, James' hand on her belly, happy in their marriage and their love, falling to sleep on that cold Christmas Eve, a night that they would both remember forever.

**Hope you liked it guys! ******


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